Porcelain Heart
by flowersatmidnight
Summary: A rich girl must decide between the norm and the heart-racing alternative. Entry for the "Summer's Most Romantic or Tragic Hour Challenge".


Title: Porcelain Heart  
"Summer's Most Romantic or Tragic Hour Challenge"  
Summary: A rich girl must decide between the norm and the heart-racing alternative.  
Disclaimer: I do not own _Twilight. _All character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. Plot idea belongs to me.  
Rating: M  
Warning: A little smutty, but nothing graphic.  
Pairing: Edward/Bella  
Word Count: 2409

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Maybe things would have been better for Bella Swan if she had never been born rich. Of course, you couldn't really help these things. It was by some random chance that she was the love child of a famous designer and a movie star. Still, things could've been easier if she had never been born.

She would have never admitted this to anyone. Sure, she played the part – spoiled little rich girl with a chip on her shoulder and a rock for a heart. But it was the only way she could protect herself from everything. In this world, you had to be on the offense to survive.

Bella took another sip from her golden champagne. She had drunk so much she couldn't really remember the name of it. It started with a J, right? Perhaps an E. They had the same basic formation. A line and then some sticky-outty things.

She knew it was never a good idea to drink alone, but right now she didn't have anyone. Rosalie was hanging out with McCarty, and Jacob was with his family. As for Edward…well, she didn't really care where he was (as she kept repeating to herself). Her minions she had sent away; she couldn't let them see her weakness right now. Maria was picking Bella's dresses from her mother's store. Her mother, of course, was in Paris.

Being rich doesn't mean you aren't lonely, Bella thought to herself as she poured herself another glass. She had had this thought many times over the years; it wasn't a new revelation. Maybe she should have stopped herself one time or another, but at times she did enjoy being wealthy: the prestige, the power, everyone falling all over themselves to get her attention.

It really did make her feel superior, a feeling she enjoyed very much indeed.

Bella's hands were getting shaky. She dumped the glass back to get the last drop before setting it on the floor by her bed. Instead, she now drank straight from the bottle. Closing her eyes tightly, she took a huge gulp. Getting drunk was so much fun. Really, it was.

Bella put a hand to her forehead. The skin there felt so smooth. She moved the hand up into her silky hair and brushed her fingers through it. It felt like she was being petted. Bella let go of the champagne bottle and started moving her other hand down her side. She smiled to herself in satisfaction: she was beautiful, thin, and rich. Why _should_ she be drinking when everything in her life was so perfect?

She couldn't stop her thoughts from straying to reasons why her life wasn't so perfect as it appeared to be. Namely, one reason: Edward Cullen, her partner-in-crime, and on the side… lover? No, she wouldn't call him that. More like friends with benefits, definitely. But recently he had been talking about some sort of compromise between them. But her mind was hazy at the moment; she couldn't remember what it was.

Which, she guessed as she put her hand around the bottle again, was sort of the point of the whole drinking yourself into oblivion thing.

Bella somehow heard from downstairs the elevator ring. It must be Maria back from the store. Almost falling off the bed as she did it, she hid the bottle behind her night table. And almost just in time too – a knock on the door announced a presence was there.

"Go away, Maria. I'm not in the mood to talk," Bella croaked out, trying to sound sleepy.

She clumsily tried to put the blankets over her body to hide the fact that she was still in her day clothes.

The door slowly opened, revealing a figure that definitely was _not _Maria. "Well, it's a good thing that I'm not in a talking kind of mood," he said, closing the door shut behind him. He didn't turn the lights on, which excited her on a deep level.

"What are you doing here?" Bella inquired, trying not to sound at all like she was drunk, but instead disgusted and reproachful that he would dare sneak into her room uninvited. "I didn't receive a buzz from downstairs."

"I know." He smirked and slowly stepped closer. "I paid off the doorman."

"He really should be fired if he's able to be persuaded by a seventeen year old _boy._" Bella felt her dress riding up, and she didn't really feel like pushing it down. "Ah, well, when you don't have money, I guess you take what you can get."

He smiled and slipped his shoes off before coming onto her bed. "I see you've been thinking about my offer."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Of course I haven't. It was stupid anyway. I would never do that to Jacob. I love him too much."

Edward paused. "I know you don't mean that, so I'm going to let it slide. One last chance, Bella." He slowly moved his hand up her torso; she tried to disguise her shiver of desire. She leaned her body away from him.

"I told you, I would never do that to Jacob. So you might as well leave." She huffed and crossed her arms over herself, and turned her head away.

Edward moved a little bit closer, just so that she could feel his body heat. "C'mon, Bella. You know he doesn't mean anything to you." He gently scratched her back, knowing how she loved it. She couldn't resist.

Bella swallowed and tensed. "Trying to take advantage of a drunken girl. How like you, Cullen. I would say I expected more of you, but I really didn't." _Jacob, Jacob, think of Jacob. Think of what this would mean. _

"Oh, how you wound me, Swan."

He doesn't sound at all wounded, Bella thought as he continued to scratch her back. She bite her lip, trying to keep her desires in check. _Jacob, Jacob…Edward, Edward, Edward. _

She couldn't do it, not when he was touching her like that. Bella turned around; she hadn't looked at him since he came in. Now she could see how dark his eyes were, and the shadows under them. She couldn't help herself; she reached out her hand and caressed his cheek. His eyes closed at her touch.

"Please, Bella."

She didn't say anything, just concentrated on her skin on his. Her eyes closed as well.

"Please," he whispered, sounding hoarse.

She moved closer, moved his hand from her back to her waist. She looked at him, trying not to think about how…

Their mouths crashed together then. Bella's hands moved from his face to his abdomen. Solid. His hand moved from her waist to her bare leg; he hitched it above his leg. She moaned; the vibration from it rocked through Edward's chest. He pressed her harder against his chest.

"_Bella, Bella, Bella_…" he chanted under his breath in the few moments his mouth was free.

Bella started to unbutton his shirt; Edward started to unzip her dress. When Edward had unzipped the side zipper halfway down, he put his hand inside the opening and gently stroked her skin. Bella pressed herself harder against him.

That was when Edward pulled away. Bella was bewildered. One second, all she could feel was Edward, the next it was cold, empty air…

Edward crawled off the side of the bed and stood up. She looked up at his back, angry and confused.

"What the hell, Cullen?" Bella's voice broke the silence.

He turned and faced her. "I don't want to do this, not if you don't choose me."

Bella's eyes closed tightly. _Please tell me this isn't happening. _

"You never seemed to have a problem with it before," Bella pointed out, thinking back to three months ago, when they first had sex.

"That was before my…" his eyes hardened, preparing himself for her mocking. "…before my feelings changed."

"You can't be serious," Bella whispered, mostly out of disbelief.

"Oh, I am, Bella. I'm not going to do this if you're not in it with me." He crossed his arms over his chest.

Bella looked around the room, anywhere but him.

"I'm waiting," he said.

But she was thinking. Jacob or Edward. Jacob or Edward.

Jacob, who she had known her life. Jacob, who she had been dating since kindergarten. Her first love, her first kiss. Her first everything. Well, everything except…

Edward, was her first _first. _Edward who made her feel fire inside. Gave her goosebumps on her skin when he whispered in her ear.

He leaned closer to her. "He can't do what I can. He doesn't know what I know." He let his finger trace down from where her chin met her ear down to her collarbone. "He can't make you feel like I make you feel." He kissed her lightly on the mouth, before slowly pulling back. "Tell me that you don't love me, tell me that you never want to see me again, and I'll leave you alone and never talk to you again."

Bella looked helplessly at him. "You know I can't."

"Can't what, Bella? Can't let yourself tell, or can't do this Jacob?"

"Both."

He let his fingers leave her collarbone, and he touched her breast. Bella's breath caught in her throat. Her insides were going up in flames. She wanted to lean in and let him take her. Her lower parts were aching so much it hurt.

But she couldn't let her body tell her what to do. She had to have a clear head.

But she didn't _want _to have a clear head.

"Tell me you love me first," she whispered, putting her hand over his. Whether it was for him to leave it there, or for him to stop, she didn't know. "And I'll do whatever you want. You tell me first."

Now he was silenced.

"See? You can't even do it, and yet you expect me to."

"You know how I feel," Edward replied.

"And _you know _how I feel." Bella started to zip up her dress, trying to hide her hurt, her disappointment. She gathered her strength to put up a front. "But that doesn't stop you from trying to wheedle it out of me. So no. I won't say it, because you won't say it. When you can, I will. And since I know that's never going to happen, you should leave."

"You're really serious, Bella?"

"Yes, I am. Now, if you don't mind, Maria is going to be home any minute now, so you should leave before she gets back." Bella now finished zipping up her dress, stood up and went over to her vanity, ignoring the shocked Edward. She got out her brush and started going through the tangles.

It was quiet except for the sound of the brush going through Bella's hair. She was getting dizzy, but she kept a steady pace.

_Ignore the sexual tension, Bella, even though it's hard considering Edward's coming your way. _

He didn't say anything – not that she expected him to. But what surprised her was him kneeling down and swinging her around so that she faced him. She put her brush on her vanity, and took slow breaths.

It was eerily quiet. The sound of the city outside her window held no sway here. She could only hear the heartbeat in her ears, the breath of the two of them, the sound of the carpet against his pants as he moved closer.

"What are you doing?" she whispered so quietly she could barely hear herself.

Edward didn't answer. He spread her legs; her heart rate sped. He started with kissing her knee; her fingers clenched on her arm rests. He began to move up her inner thigh; she clenched her eyes shut and tried to hold back to moans. He almost reached her underwear, when he went to the other knee and began the same thing over again.

And again.

And again.

Bella was panting; by now her hands had moved from the arm rest into his hair. She tried to be gentle as he kissed her, but she couldn't. And when he began to kiss her knee again, she got off her chair, sat on his lap, and began to kiss his lips.

There weren't any words confirming what they were about to do. She knew it, and he knew it. Bella wasn't sure if this was going to change anything, but Edward did. He just didn't know how much.

Edward began to stand up; Bella started to slide off him, but he grabbed her waist and carried her over to her bed. Edward undid Bella's work and took off her dress. Bella pushed off Edward's shirt and felt his smooth skin. Jacob didn't feel like this; but then again, she didn't want him to.

Bella unbuttoned his pants; he helped her push them down.

Now that they were just in their underclothes, they could feel so much more of each other. Bella thought it felt surreal. Something was different this time around. Now they weren't just hooking up; now it really meant something.

She felt _him _against her. She couldn't hold back the loud groan.

Edward's hands couldn't get enough of Bella's back. So much smooth, silky skin.

Things progressed naturally. It felt so good, Bella wondered how this was even real. This couldn't be the same person she knew so long ago. He was different now. She was different now.

When it was over, they were sweating. But they slowly kissed; it was like a wave and the shore. Close, touch, pull away. A natural rhythm they didn't really understand. Bella wrapped her legs around Edward's.

As much as she didn't want to, she knew Edward had to leave before Maria came back.

"You have to go now," Bella whispered in his ear.

"I don't want to leave you."

They kissed again.

"I know," Bella laughed. "I don't want you to either. We can't get caught."

He sighed. "You're right."

She helped him dress; it was all they could do to not go back to the bed and start all over again.

But he was finally at the door.

"Bye," she said.

"Miss you."

Bella smiled. "Yeah. You too."

Edward smiled – a real, not smirking smile of _real _happiness.

Bella knew then.

"We'll figure it out, okay?" Edward said, giving her one last kiss.

"Yeah."

They both knew he would come back.

"I love you," Bella whispered behind the closed door.

"Love you too," Edward said back as he went down the stairs.

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